Beginning of the 2nd Year

Resuming to the university life after 2 months of great holidays has been so hard. Yes, it's been almost a month since the semester had started, but the so called "holiday mode" has been the cause of my laziness and unmotivated attitude for the past weeks. I dream for another travels — though I've traveled to 9 countries during the last holiday, it never felt enough. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for the opportunities but the problem is that… I'm addicted to traveling — it's a new virus that doesn't seem to go away for at least another year. Europe is just too exciting to be explored. And I'm hungry to spread my wings and gain unforgettable life experiences 🙂 .

This semester is my 3rd semester and the beginning of my 2nd (and last) year at the TU/e — if I can graduate on time (insya Allah). This is the scariest semester so far and I'm not ready for it. Thesis drives me nuts. I'm faced with dilemma. I have to start choosing a topic for my thesis, but my interests in the major I'm currently doing has faded! What makes everything worst is that: I'm not interested in the field of IT anymore! What is wrong with me, I wonder!!! Maybe because I'm fed up with all those theories that have been taught with me at this university. Maybe I'm just bored and I need a new thing. Maybe I'm just too stressed and confused. Maybe I'm just not motivated. Maybe… maybe… maybe… Thesis is too scary for me. This will be my first time and I feel soooo inexperienced. I didn't do thesis for my Bachelor degree; instead, I did an IT project which is more about implementation rather than research. I'm not good at analysis or any of that. I'm not a researcher and I'm not interested in doing so! I'm very technical, period. But I knew that I gotta face this challenge (of writing thesis) well before I applied for a Master's degree. I have to do it for the first and last time — regardless of anything. Ganbatte!!!

So, what field that I'm currently interested in (now that I'm bored with IT)? I'm thinking of doing stuff related to humanitarian. I wanna work in NGOs or any organizations that empower women, help refugees, and educate children. I've been very interested in women's rights and multiculturalism so I would like to focus on those areas. It seems to me that working in these organizations not only provide me with the opportunity to help people, but also interact with them: sharing knowledge and life experiences. It seems so exciting!!! But I know that I have no knowledge or whatsoever in these areas. I've never worked in NGOs before. I have to be ready to be stationed in any part of the world. I would most probably be excited about it, but I know that my parents wouldn't. And I know that there'll be a lot of obstacles so I don't know if my dream this time will ever come true. So, rather than dreaming too high, I'm planning to just volunteer. There are so many organizations here in the Netherlands, but the thing is: most of them are located around Den Haag and Amsterdam which cost me around 20 Euros to go back and forth 🙁 So I'm still looking around for some opportunities… if you do have some info about organizations in Eindhoven, don't hesitate to contact me 🙂 .

Anyway, wrapping up… I have two main goals that I'd like to achieve. Starting and finishing my thesis on time is definitely my main goal. Hopefully I'll be able to do it!! The second goal is to explore the Middle East extensively after my graduation. I have been to Egypt, Lebanon, Palestine, Syria, Jordan, and Turkey but I barely remember those travels as they were done when I was very young. So I'd like to visit those countries (and hopefully including Iran) when I graduate from this university. I want to make this as not only my travel journeys, but also a journey to strengthening my spiritual life, insya Allah. I'll need to save money from now!! 🙂 WANTED: a travel mate 😉