Mom

Mom, do you remember that when I was a little kid, you spent hours and hours working tirelessly helping dad? You dissappeared with heavy bags in the morning, and came back with empty hand in the evening. You always said that, Hajj was our only hope to pay the rent. I spent my time alone in the house everyday, while you and dad worked in Mekkah. I knew that you did this for our family. It happened only a month in a year, so why did I have to be scared? I became so brave and strong, just like you… although sometimes I’d be very scared of gecko and other strange animals hehehe. Sometimes you would bring me to Mekkah when it was school’s holiday. We stayed in dad’s auntie’s house; a house that we used to live for 2 years before we moved to Jeddah. I remember clearly that every year during Hajj, so many people stayed in that house. Most of them were students and families on a tight budget from Cairo and other countries in the Middle East. Although we were in a difficult financial condition, you and dad accepted them staying there for as long as they liked, until the Hajj ended. I remember when I was alone and having fever, an old man whom I could not recall sit next to me. He prayed for me for so long and asked me to drink a water. He did this because of your hospitality. And now, when life seems so easy for us, your kindness is repayed.

Mom, do you remember when you scolded me because I did not seek your permission to go with my friends? It happened right after my 6th grade’s final exam (EBTANAS) concluded. My friends and I decided to go to Tahlia using a taxi. We were so naughty that we did not even think about how dangerous it was to go there without men’s companion. We just wanted to have fun in a ‘wrong way’. I felt like it was a freedom. Don’t get it wrong mom, you always gave me a freedom, just like grandma gave you a freedom. But I was just a bit angry on how we, women and girls, brought up in that country. I was angry with the rule and culture. That’s why I wanted to feel and experience how it felt like to be free. My friends and I used to walk to McD after school, it was quite far for a 6th grade student. You did not know that I frequently did it. But I guess, it was a cool and scary experience for us; to be able to go anywhere we could.. just like all the boys and men out there. If I remember about it now, I think it was the dumbest experience I’ve ever had hahaha. Sorry, mom…

Mom, do you remember that you were the one who always encouraged me to study. You always said that dad would do everything he could for education. I did not have to worry about money, you said, there’s always a way we could figure it out. You were the one who pushed me to go to Australia. I did not want to go there because I knew the cost was expensive. But you had a strong faith. You were optimist that Allah SWT would always give us a solution for people who want to do a good thing. You told me that, grandma also did not have enough money to send you to study in Egypt. But for some reasons, money was always available when it was needed. And you were once again right. Once I set my foot in this country, dad’s business opportunity increases. I am grateful that now you can relax and enjoy your life. Because you deserve it. You really do.

Mom, I am sorry for everything I have done to you. I am sorry that I always hurt your feeling. You know that I always love and adore you. Thank you for everything. Happy Birthday (too early :D) and Happy Mother’s Day (too late :P).