Future & Possibilities

I’ll graduate Insya Allah in December 2007. So I’m now sort of preparing and planning what I’m going to do after I graduate. I’ve been thinking about it for so long. I also talked to my parents when I went back to Jakarta a few months ago. My parents gave me two options: apply for Australian PR or go to another country.

My parents really want me to get a PR in Australia. They really like Australia, the people, the (clean & organized) cities, etc. I’m actually very happy that my parents give me many supports with regards to my future. My dad said I should apply for PR; he doesn’t care whether my application will be accepted or not, but he just wants me to apply. Even if I’m accepted, it’s up to me to decide whether I’d live here in the future or not. My mom is also very excited about it, everytime I call her, she always reminds me about applying PR, although she knows that I couldn’t apply for PR until I hold my undergraduate degree.

But I, myself, haven’t decide whether I’d loved to live here in the future or not. I always see myself living and working in Jeddah (or perhaps in Middle East country). Although I don’t like the people there who always mocked my country and nationality, but I always want to live there. I don’t know, perhaps I’ve lived there for 10+ years, and that makes me more connected to the Arabic culture. But Australia is more like my temporary home. I really love studying here in Brisbane; the city is quiet, not too crowded, and CLEAN. I have so many friends here and that makes me feel more secured. But to find a permanent job here is not easy. I’ve talked to so many people who have lived here for years. They told me the same thing. It’s hard to get a job here, because: I’m not an Australian, I’m not white, I don’t have an Australian accent, I’m not blonde (LOL) and I’ve only lived here for few years. Plus, I have less opportunity to work here due to the fact that I wear hijab/scarf. I’m not saying that all companies are like that, but of course they prefer Australian employees.

That’s why, I don’t want to expect too much about applying for PR. I probably would apply, for the sake of luck . I’m also gonna search for a permanent job here. Well, who knows that I’ll get one more “big” luck?? It could happen. But again, I’m not expecting anything. If I get a job, then I’d probably stay here for the next 5 years. If I get a PR but I don’t get a job, I’d probably stay here for 2+ years to study Master degree (coz once I’m a permanent resident, I’m considered as a domestic student.. so I pay 2 times less than international students! It’s cheaper!).

But if I don’t get a PR, then I’ll not stay in Australia for any time longer. My sister is going to Malaysian Uni next year, and I know that it’ll be hard for my dad to pay the fees for both of us. But luckily, my dad gave me another option. He’d like to pay for my Master degree with only one condition: go to Malaysia. Studying in Malaysia is MUCH cheaper than Australia. My dad can afford paying for both of us if we both study in Malay. But I personally would like to go to another country. I’m not saying that Malaysian education is bad! But knowing that Malay culture is pretty much the same with Indonesian, I’d prefer to go to other country had I got opportunities. That’s why I’m planning to go to Europe. I know studying in Europe is so expensive and I’m not asking my father to pay for me. Scholarship is perhaps the only way I could go to Europe. There are dozens of scholarships that I could apply. I know that I’m not the cleverest and most brilliant student you could ever find, but why not trying??? I believe in luck and I won’t let my luck passes by just like that. I knew some not-so-brilliant-people who got scholarships and that’s a good thing coz at least I’m convinced that I have many opportunities. But if I don’t get any scholarship, I’ll go to Malay insya Allah.

I also have other plan: work in Jeddah right after I graduate; so I can save my money to continue my Master degree. But my mom doesn’t like my idea, because she thinks that once I work, there’s a little chance that I’d leave my job for another life at Uni. She said that it’s better if I continue straight from undergraduate to postgraduate. The faster, the better! Since I’m still very young and my brain is still “bright”, why not just continue study and learn? And after doing Master degree, -of course- my mom wants me to marry! Hahaha… That’s her biggest dream ever LOL.

I don’t know, marriage is the last thing that comes out of my mind right now. I’m not very big about it (yet), coz I still want to pursue my dreams. I love to be free and to go to wherever places I wanted to go. I also don’t have to be worried about other people. I’m still enjoying my fun life and learning the coolest subject area in the whole wide world! But of course I’d love to marry one day (although the idea of getting married sometimes scares me) to a man (not a guy ) who is responsible, a good Moslem, and smart (so we can share our knowledge, right? That seems fun!). But the fact that I’m still “paranoid” about getting into a relationship again freaks my mother out . And funny though, that it’s people around me that are so busy matching me with some guys.. while I don’t even think about it haha. Jenny always tells me whenever she meets a nice guy.. or if she thinks that I and that guy will make a perfect couple LOL. My friend Chris once promised me to bring me a “handsome and rich Australian Moslem” guy hahahaha… Well, I believe if God wants me to be with that guy now, then there’s no way I can escape, right?? So, make more friends, relax, and have fun!

When I was a kid, I loved to spend my time dreaming about my future. And for some reasons, I didn’t know why I always dreamt about living alone as a single working woman who lives in a nice apartment in a city where there’s a green mountain (just like Puncak) and has clean river surrounding it, fresh air, and cold weather all year long. Ahh.. what a beautiful life hehehe…